Part III: Stop Running From God
Updated: Sep 17
My Personal Testimony
Scriptures that kept me even when I continued to drift away:
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Note: Each one of those Scriptures are linked to the bible.com- So please don't hesitate to click and read the Word of God for yourself.
There comes a point when you have to stop talking about everybody else’s disobedience and confront your own.
I can write about Jonah running from God. I can tell you how he boarded a ship going in the opposite direction of where God told him to go. I can explain how his disobedience created a storm that affected everyone around him. But the truth is, Jonah’s story is not the only story about someone running from God.
I ran too.
I did not always run by physically leaving somewhere. Sometimes I ran by ignoring what God was telling me. Sometimes I ran by distracting myself, making excuses, remaining comfortable, or convincing myself that I needed more time to live my life.
There were moments when I knew God was calling me closer, but I still wanted to do things my way.
I wanted God, but I also wanted control.
I wanted His protection, but I did not always want His correction.
I wanted His promises, but I did not completely understand the surrender, discipline, and obedience that came with them.
That is a dangerous place to live because partial surrender is still disobedience.
God Was Speaking, but I Was Not Fully Listening
Looking back over my life, I can see that God was there the entire time. He was speaking through circumstances, through His Word, through conviction, through closed doors, and even through the uncomfortable moments I wanted to escape.
But instead of stopping and asking God what He was trying to show me, I often kept moving.
I made decisions based on what I felt.
I allowed fear, disappointment, relationships, pain, pride, and my own understanding to influence me. There were times when I knew something was not right, but I continued anyway. There were also times when the Holy Spirit was warning me, yet I ignored the warning because obedience would have required me to let something…or someone… or people in general…go.
Running from God does not always look rebellious from the outside.
You can still attend church and be running.
You can still pray and be running.
You can still quote Scripture and be running.
You can even encourage other people while refusing to obey what God has personally told you to do.
I stayed giving someone advice while my life was a ship wreck and I was heading straight for hell.
I had to learn that knowing about God was not the same as surrendering my entire life to Him.
God Would Not Let Me Remain Comfortable In Sin
One thing about God….
when His hand is on your life, He will not allow you to remain comfortable in a place He never called you to stay.
I tried to fit into environments I had already outgrown. I tried to hold on to things God was telling me to release. I tried to reason with instructions that required faith…..not explanation.
But God continued to pursue me.
He allowed me to feel the discomfort of remaining outside of His will. He exposed what was in my heart. He showed me the agreements, mindsets, habits, and attachments that were keeping me bound.
Not because He hated me.
Not because He wanted to embarrass me.
But because He loved me too much to leave me where I was.
God’s correction was proof that I belonged to Him.
God was not trying to destroy me. He was trying to deliver me.
My Surrender Did Not Happen All at Once
My surrender was a process.
There were layers God had to remove. There were lies I had believed for years that had to be replaced with His truth. There were wounds I had learned to live with that God wanted to heal. There were things I had normalized that the Holy Spirit began revealing were not pleasing to Him.
I had to allow God to teach me who I was without the opinions of other people. Boy did that take a while!
Especially when I got out of the military after serving ten plus years.
I had to learn that obedience was more important than being understood.
I had to stop allowing people, traditions, fear, and religious expectations to speak louder than the Holy Spirit.
Most importantly, I had to stop treating surrender like a one-time emotional moment.
True surrender is a daily decision.
Daily means I must choose Him when I understand and when I do not.
Daily means I must obey when it feels good and when it costs me something.
Daily means I cannot keep returning to the same things God delivered me from simply because they are familiar.
God Used My Testimony Before I Understood It
For a long time, I did not understand why I had experienced certain things. I did not understand the delays, rejection, heartbreak, disappointment, or uncomfortable seasons.
But God knew.
He knew that one day I would write.
He knew that one day I would testify.
He knew that one day the very things I wanted to hide would help someone else understand that they were not alone.
A lot of what you read through The Surrendered Walk comes from my personal battles, lessons, mistakes, healing, correction, and encounters with God.
These are not simply topics I thought would sound good.
These are things I have lived.
God took my pain and gave it purpose. He took my journal entries, prayers, questions, and private moments of correction and began using them to minister to others.
That is why I cannot take credit for this ministry.
The Surrendered Walk belongs to God.
This platform was born from surrender, obedience, and my decision to finally stop running from what He was calling me to do.
I Was Not Disqualified
The enemy will tell you that you have made too many mistakes to be used by God.
He will remind you of every failed decision, every wrong relationship, every season of disobedience, and every moment you ignored God.
But God does not waste a surrendered life.
Your past may explain where you have been, but it does not have the authority to determine where God is taking you.
Peter denied Jesus three times, yet Jesus restored him.
Paul persecuted believers, yet God transformed him into an apostle.
Jonah ran from his assignment, yet God gave him another opportunity to obey.
And God gave me another opportunity too.
Not because I earned it, but because He is merciful.
When I finally stopped running, I discovered that God had not abandoned me. He was waiting for my complete yes.
Running Cost Me More Than Obedience Ever Could
We often resist God because we believe obedience will cost us too much.
We are afraid of losing relationships, comfort, popularity, opportunities, habits, or the version of life we created for ourselves.
But running from God has a cost too.
Running cost me my peace.
Running created unnecessary confusion.
Running delayed what God wanted to develop in me.
Running kept me connected to cycles Jesus died to break.
Honestly, if I had died in my sin while running, it would have cost me eternity.
Running can also affect the people around you. And it did.. it affected my children and other family members and friends who were waiting on my Yes.
Jonah’s disobedience brought a storm into the lives of people who had nothing to do with his decision.
Your obedience is not only about you.
My obedience was and is not only about me, it’s about my family.. legacy… generations to come that need to know the truth.
Jesus saves.
There may be people waiting on the other side of your yes.
There may be family members who need to witness your transformation. There may be people who will encounter Jesus because you finally decided to obey Him.
My Yes Belongs to God
Today, I am not claiming to be perfect.
I am still learning. I am still being corrected. I am still growing in discernment, discipline, patience, and obedience.
But I am no longer pretending that I can live this life without complete dependence on Jesus.
I need Him.
I need the Holy Spirit to lead me.
I need the Word of God to correct my thoughts.
I need God to search my heart and reveal anything that is not like Him.
My testimony is not that I always got it right, because if you’ve been with us a while you can see in my past testimonial blogs that I got it very wrong… often.
My testimony is that God never stopped pursuing me.
He met me in my disobedience. He corrected me in love. He exposed what was keeping me bound. He called me out of darkness, and He gave purpose to the pieces of my life I thought were wasted.
He was there the entire time.
Stop Running
Maybe you recognize yourself somewhere in my testimony.
Maybe God has been telling you to leave something, begin something, forgive someone, repent, return to Him, or finally surrender the part of your life you have been trying to control.
You do not need another sign.
You do not need another prophecy.
You do not need another person to confirm what the Holy Spirit has already made clear.
Stop running.
God is not pursuing you because He wants to punish you. He is pursuing you because He loves you.
He knows what is ahead. He knows what is connected to your obedience. He knows the lives your testimony will reach once you stop being ashamed of where He brought you from.
You cannot outrun God’s purpose for your life…but you can continue delaying your obedience.
Turn around.
Repent.
Surrender.
Give God your complete yes.
The same God who pursued Jonah pursued me, and He is pursuing you too.
The question is no longer whether God is speaking.
The question is: Will you finally stop running and obey Him?
Thank you for being a part of this journey with us. We truly love each and every one of you who support this movement, and we pray that you are blessed by the blogs we put out weekly.
Stay tuned; I believe there are more mini-series to come out of this.
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✨Obedience Over Compromise
Your sister in Christ,
DeVonn Barlow
Founder of The Surrendered Walk🤍
Beautifully wrote ! This actually resonates with me a lot , especially the things that have been happening lately.
Stop running from him & run towards him. Amen.
love the transparency