🔥 Pulled Out of the Pit: My Deliverance from Sexual Immorality

There was a time in my life when I was completely bound by sexual immorality.

And the truth is… I knew it.

I remember being in the middle of certain situations, actually in the act, and having this thought come over me:

“Why am I even doing this?”

“This doesn’t even feel right.”

“This isn’t fulfilling.”

It wasn’t even enjoyable. It wasn’t peace. It wasn’t love. It was emptiness.

And yet, I stayed.

Looking back now, I can clearly see what I couldn’t fully understand then, that was the Lord beginning to shift my mind. Even while I was still in sin, He was trying to wake me up. He was gently calling me higher, even when I hadn’t fully surrendered yet.

The Lie That Looked Like Healing

After going through an embarrassing divorce, I made a decision that I thought was empowering, but it was actually rooted in pain.

I told myself I was going to build a “revenge body.”

I was going to "glow up."

Look better than ever.

And live however I wanted.

Deep down, my mindset was:

“I bet you wish you did better by me.”

I wanted validation.

I wanted attention.

I wanted to prove something.

And the enemy used that.

Because what I thought was confidence… was actually deception.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” — John 10:10

I was pouring into my physical body, working out, showing up, building this image…

But my soul was dying.

My spirit was crushed.

And I was not seeking Christ.

When It Looked Right… But Was Still Wrong

A couple of years after my divorce, I started dating someone I met in the gym.

On the outside, it looked like a “power couple.”

We looked good together (or so I thought).

We worked out together.

It seemed like everything was aligned.

But it wasn’t.

Because you can look strong on the outside…

And be completely broken on the inside.

During that time, I began experiencing frequent panic attacks.

And instead of running to God… I ran to the world.

I was smoking weed (not too much, never was a heavy smoker of anything)

I was drinking, getting drunk, telling myself it was just to “chill” and “have a good time.”

But none of it helped.

None of it brought peace.

None of it healed what was really going on inside of me.

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” — Proverbs 14:12

This scripture passionately reveals that anything we consider right in our human perspective, if it's outside of Christ and reflects disobedience to the Word, even if we're unaware, will ultimately lead to death.

And even in that relationship…

I was still in sexual immorality.

Still outside of God’s will.

Still trying to fill a spiritual void with temporary things.

Here’s the truth:

No one cared the way I thought they would.

That “revenge” I was chasing?

That image I was building?

It didn’t heal me.

It didn’t restore me.

It didn’t fix anything.

Because the issue was never my body.

It was my soul.

“What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” — Mark 8:36

I was building a body…

But neglecting the very thing that actually needed healing.

Bound, But Not Abandoned

I found myself in cycle after cycle.

Situationships.

(you know the ones where there's no title, we are just sleeping around)

Empty connections.

Entertaining anyone who pretended to care.

Some were single.

Some were married.

Some lied and pretended to be single, but were not.

And if I’m being honest… there were even moments where confusion led me into situations with women too.

There was no peace.

Just brokenness disguised as connection.

But even in all of that…

God never took His hands off me.

Conviction Is Not Condemnation

Even in the middle of sin, I would feel it:

That tug.

That thought.

That knowing.

That wasn’t guilt.

That was conviction.

“When He comes, He will convict the world concerning sin…” — John 16:8

God was trying to pull me out, even when I hadn’t made the decision yet to come out.

I Shouldn’t Be Here… But God

I could have died in that season.

And if I’m being honest… I know where I was headed, and it wasn't in glory with Jesus.

But God.

He kept me.

He covered me.

He gave me another chance.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life…” — Romans 6:23

Why I’m Sharing This

This is not easy to share.

But obedience will cost you your comfort.

And I’ve learned this:

What God delivers you from…

He will use to deliver someone else.

“They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony…” — Revelation 12:11

You’re Not Stuck

If you see yourself in this story…

You’re not too far gone.

That voice telling you “this isn’t right”?

That’s the Holy Spirit calling you out.

Not to shame you.

But to free you.

There Is Freedom

What once had me bound… no longer has power over me.

Not because I’m perfect.

But because I surrendered.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” — John 8:36

Closing Prayer

Father God,

Thank You for Your mercy and grace. Thank You for meeting us even in our lowest places.

Lord, break every chain of lust, deception, addiction, and broken identity. Heal the hearts of those trying to fix spiritual wounds with worldly solutions.

Draw them back to You. Restore their minds. Renew their hearts.

Remind them that they are not too far gone, and that freedom is still available through Jesus.

In Jesus precious name we pray,

Amen.

Before you go…

If this message spoke to you in any way, I’d truly love to hear from you. Your voice matters here.

Please take a moment to:

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I don’t just write to be heard, I write to build a space where we can grow together in truth, understanding, and relationship with God.

If there’s something you’ve been wrestling with, curious about, or want me to write on, don’t hesitate to say it in the comments. Your questions may be exactly what someone else needs answered too.

Thank you for being here and walking this journey with us. 🤍

— The Surrendered Walk